Taylor Negron

Born-and-bred Angeleno Taylor Negron has fled to New York, but he’s back in town gracing us with his deft comic stories at Beth Lapides’ UnCabaret TICKETS, which also features Jen Kober, Zach Sherwin on the bill.

What makes someone a New Yorker?

Someone who knows when to keep on walking with that vague impermeable life force. The other day I realized I was doing what I always dreamed of doing — just sitting in the park reading one of those long New Yorker articles when I looked up and Yoko One walked by, it was the perfect moment. She nodded at me and I forgave her.

Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?

Aren’t all New Yorkers living, dead, real and fictional? I recently met Martha Stewart the last month at a fancy roof top party and and she gave me her recipe for Prison Tamales. My favorite New Yorkers are Pete Hamill. Stanford White. Edith Wharton, Mickey Mantel, Mrs. Astor’s pet Horse. Dolly Levi. Spike Lee and Martin Scorsese and Toots Shor, because he invented the circular bar.

What do you miss most about LA?

The nights. Nothing compares to it. Magnificent.

The nocturnal perfumes of the mock oranges trees that some how mock us. The fog in Venice that obliviates the sea.

Those Joan Didion moments of driving and cracking a boiled egg on steering wheel when you’re merging on the Harbor Freeway at 4:30 in the morning drinking flat Pellegrino water and smoking and an old butt.

I love driving through those W.P.A tunnels that go into Highland Park then getting slightly lost on Zoo Drive
What restaurant or food thing will you seek out when here?

The beef marrow bones at Mozza. Late night breakfast at Luques. Anything at Deltas Taco on Sunset Junction.. There also is a ramen bar I frequent in a sea food supermarket on Beverly that is pure Korean bliss tucked into Pac Man arcade. Very dada. Cheap and delicious.

Tell us about your Sandy experience.

I have been through Katrina, Irene and Sandy. apparently Low-pressure system emanate from my body. I am told that I can affect plate Tectonics and change coastal maps when I am bilious. I am getting an honorary third eye. I have been through so many hurricanes my friends call me FEMA. This Sandy was a royal bitch.

I used believe that “global warming” was no big deal, that maybe its was because of all that hairspray used by the Supremes. I may have been wrong on this. It may larger be more than just the Supremes, These gargantuan weather patterns are so chaotic that it may also include the hairspray of Tammy Wynette, Ricky Lake and Wayne Newton. Buster Poindexter. I Live on The Upper Westside and came out unscathed having only to suffer two hours in line for Olives at Zabar’s. I really can’t complain.

What will you be sharing at UnCabaret?

I will explain that the Mayan calendar ends Dec. 21 so we should not pay our rent any more.

Taylor Negron is at Beth Lapides’ UnCabaret at First & Hope, 710 W. First St., dwntwn.; Sun., Nov. 18, 8 p.m.; $20. (213) 706-3630.

Originally printed in the LA Weekly